back to basics

Sup fellow readers and stumble-upon'ers

yes I have not been active for a while in this tumultuous life

but fear not


I am fucking....

Single
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oh no need to cheer me up, beer's on me

Chicken Town - John Cooper Clark

the fucking cops are fucking keen
to fucking keep it fucking clean
the fucking chief's a fucking swine
who fucking draws a fucking line
at fucking fun and fucking games
the fucking kids he fucking blames
are nowehere to be fucking found
anywhere in chicken town

the fucking scene is fucking sad
the fucking news is fucking bad
the fucking weed is fucking turf
the fucking speed is fucking surf
the fucking folks are fucking daft
don't make me fucking laugh
it fucking hurts to look around
everywhere in chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking view is fucking vile
for fucking miles and fucking miles
the fucking babies fucking cry
the fucking flowers fucking die
the fucking food is fucking muck
the fucking drains are fucking fucked
the colour scheme is fucking brown
everywhere in chicken town

the fucking pubs are fucking dull
the fucking clubs are fucking full
of fucking girls and fucking guys
with fucking murder in their eyes
a fucking bloke is fucking stabbed
waiting for a fucking cab
you fucking stay at fucking home
the fucking neighbors fucking moan
keep the fucking racket down
this is fucking chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking pies are fucking old
the fucking chips are fucking cold
the fucking beer is fucking flat
the fucking flats have fucking rats
the fucking clocks are fucking wrong
the fucking days are fucking long
it fucking gets you fucking down
evidently chicken town

-thanks to the docu-drama movie Control for introducing me to this poem
- and a great thanks for John Cooper Clark to actually give the overused curse word some meaning and life

I throw "X" in the air sometimes, saying AAAAYYOOOO, "Y" + OOOOO

Retarded songs can spawn genius comments:

" i throw justin bieber in the air sometimes saying AAAYYOOO this kid is GAAYYOOOO"
"I THROW A NIGGER IN THE AIR SOMETIMES,SAYING AYYYOOOOOOO, OH SHIT THATS TAIO!"
"I throw my girlfriend in the air sometimes saying AAAAAYYYYOO, baby laaaay oh!"
"i throw my skittles in the air sometimes sayin AAAYYOOOOO taste the rainbow"
"I throw my money in the air sometimes sayin AYOOOOOO! I got a bank ROOOLL!"
"I throw MY WIG IN THE AIR SOMETIMES, SAYING AYOOOO, I NEED AN AFROO!"
"i throw my semtex in the air sometimes saying ayyooooooo igot a pavelow"
"i throw my ketchup in the air somtimes saying ayooooo i ordered mayo"
"I put some childrenin my van sometimes, saying AYOOOOOOO, IM A PEDO!"
"i throw my condom in the air sometimes sayin AYYYOOOOOO, BITCH U PREEEEGGGOOOO"
"I throw my fat in the air sometimes, saying aaaaaayooooooooo i am a hippo"
"I THROW MY FACEBOOK IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYING AAAAAAAYYYYYYYOOOO WHERE'D MY LIFE GO"
"I throw my shirt into the air sometimes Saying AAAYYYOOO I am a shirtless homo"
"I THROW MY SPANISH IN THE AIR SOMETIMES, SAYING AAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOO­O NO COMPRENDO!"
"THROW THE RING UP IN THE AIR SOMETIMES, SAYING AYYYYOOOO, I AIN'T FRODOOOO!!!!""
""My house was flying through the air one time, and i screamed AAAAYYYYOOOO, IT'S A TORNADOOOO!!!!"
"I THROW MY TURBAN IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYING AYOOO BABY JAAAI HOOO!"
"I THROW EMINEM IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYIN AYOOOOO I'M NOT AFRAID THOUGH!"
"i throw my xbox in the air sometimes, saying ayooo i playing halo"
"i throw my waffles in the air sometimes sayin ayoo leggo my egggo"
 throw my gravy in the air sometimes sayin ayo mashed potatoes
I throw my bro into the air sometimes! singing Ayo! You gotta go!!!
i throw my spanish in the air sometimes sayin ayo no comprendo!!
i throw my fingers in the air sometimes sayin ayo ur an a- hole!!
I throw my Pizza in the air sometimes, saying ayooo I'm Italianooo
I Throw My Sister In The Air Sometimes Saying Ayoo Your A Werido
I throw my telescope in the air sometimes saying ayyoo I'm Galileo
I Throw My Clubcard in the Air Sometimes Singing Ayoo I Shop at Costco
I throw my toy box in the air some times saying ayo wheres my lego
I throw my Pants up in the air sometimes saying AYOO, Go Comando
 THROW MY PUDDING IN THE AIR SOMETIMES, SAYIN AYOOO, I WANT JELLO!
I throw my waffles in the air sometimes sayin ayooo I'll have a bagel.
I throw my cat up in the air sometimes sayin ayooo I want a tail.









Oh youtube, almost as witty as imdb message boards.

I hope Taio Cruz finds out about these comments and 'fesses up to how much he sucks at writing lyrics.

Poetic Unjustness

All the vivid colours to refract into my eyes
The brilliant artpieces in a gallery
The sunset over the shimmering lake
The glittering stars that shine with the moon
But I rather fixate my eyes on your mesmerizing face

All the beautiful sounds resonate my ears
The instruments of talented musicians
The rustling of leaves in the high trees
The birds chirping with delight
But I rather listen to your soothing melodic voice

All the palatable tastes to nourish my tongue
The finely prepared plates made with passion
The crisp clear taste of water
The divine lusciousness of honey and nectar
But I rather taste your sweet, soft lips
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Let's stop right there
I would NEVER say any of these things to my current or previous GFs.
None of them deserve hearing this because none of it is true
What was I thinking in junior high?...Such useless bullshit.

YoutubeGroaning, it has a cause

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING LINKS I ASSOCIATE WITH SOME WORDS I DO NOT OWN, BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT GODDAMN MIRRORING/COPYING THEM IN ORDER TO GET VISITS TO MY USELESS PAGE
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Like Wikigroaning, but a first possible art form or terminology coined by yours truly. (girlfriend vs videogames HAHA)

If there is anything to be learned in this life, it's that you can't extend your "e-appendage" by uploading a video on YouTube. For female readers, you should interpret "e-appendage" as self worth.

BUT WAIT! It sounds like I am disagreeing with what YouTube is meant to BE towards the common Internet user.
I agree on one thing, YouTube is great when I'm looking for music videos from the vibrant new-wave 80's, but it's gut-wrenchingly awful when I have to test out more than 10 results for "Doesn't Really Matter" by "Platinum Blond", but it doesn't really matter, because this human ignorance shouldn't bother me, should it?

Remember the popular viral video called "Bro Rape" by "Derrick Comedy"? Documenting the fictitious yet easily recognizable desires of your fellow hip male friends....with their upside down visors....Dane Cook DVDs....and axe spray. Yeah I can agree, having any of those things can cause undesirable attention, I also agree that copying this video then re-uploading it again onto Youtube makes you look like a complete dunce, for instance:

xHaVoC83x - Bro Rape: A Newsline Investigative Report [HD] (imagine me pronouncing the word: "ecks havoc ninety-three ecks" in order to destroy all the user's chances of redeeming himself)

- turning this video on 720p resolution, it still looks worse than the original video uploaded by the original authors on normal or even 240p. Clever ruse, you added to the title [HD] to trick people into thinking they can see the same comedy gold but with refined video clarity
- This video was posted on June 23, 2010, a 4 year gap after the original. Of course the kid adds to the description "I do not own this, but its one of my favorite videos on youtube lol"
-Don't bother trying to tell this kid how much of a hack he is, because your comment will be deleted after 5 minutes. When you discover your comment is missing, you might try to make another, only to see this message "You have been blocked by the owner of this video." I found it ironic too.
I don't quite remember what my imminently deleted statement was but it went something like "[HD] my ass" and "please delete this video so my Youtube search function doesn't give me garbage results"

Things I could have done to prevent such silliness:
- only click on the first result, since that one was most RELEVANT and POPULAR one
- ignore latter results since they are not what I am looking for
- save the proper video to my favorites so I won't have to search for it again.
- not comment on the wrong video telling them good advice
- not make this blog about it

See how I leave the most mundane things at the end of the list? That's because I'm thoughtful.

So, should I let this common problem on YouTube affect me that much? Should I even worry or complain about it? Should I see a whole 15 minute episode of Clarke and Michael rather than 3x5 min segments in three different garbage links on YouTube?

I might have cared less if this kid had less than 100 hits as opposed to his 89000? Or if other people spoke up?... well maybe they did, but the OWNER OF THE VIDEO won't let them.

Things you can search for on Youtube to get your rage going:
- viral videos e.g. "N64 kid"
- clips of comedian skits/standups e.g. Russel Peters
- famous movie quotes/scenes
- Justin Bieber

Enter The Thoughts

*Curtains rise*
*I step forward from behind the curtains*
*Curtains fall back into place*

wow!....WOW! wahow!
Thank you, thank you all for visiting.
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Nervous, excited
Open minds unraveling
Lets take a long walk

Not on the soft beach
Not on the cushioning grass
But sitting down here
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I'm not much for introductions, I mean really, haikus?

I can't write essays because of the solid formats I've been taught to follow.
Formats, fragile like glass.
To me this glass is a thick two-paned window, so reflective you can only see what's on the other side by using your own hands to block out the light. Reinforced by metal bars where you can barely fit your fingertips through.

To my instructors this glass is a fine handmade flute, where a chip or crack creates an imaginary undesirable taste in their fine fermented bubbly.

These are the formats you are expected to follow, you are also to adapt the same mindset on these set of rules if you are to become a doctor, lawyer, engineer etc.

The introduction, a paragraph of information and anecdotes, stating the three topics/points you are going to discuss in the next three paragraphs, as well as restating those three points in your conclusion.
I never did this correctly, and never will the instructors tell you why, unless I was supposed to take "use common sense" as an answer why I failed anything in life, including essays.

I'm here to discuss my thoughts and how other people relate or differ from them.
I'm here to learn to be open minded.
I'm here because taking a standpoint has its consequences.
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"all my life I wantid to be smart and not dumb and my mom always tolld me to try and lern just like Miss Kinnian tells me but its very hard to be smart and even when I lern something in Miss Kinnians class at the school I ferget alot."
- Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon